Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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