It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
