I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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