Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
