Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
