hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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