Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
