Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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