Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize