How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
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