Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
