I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
