Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
