Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
