I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
