im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You can't special order awesome
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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