Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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