Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
