Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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