Non-Jews are for practice
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
