i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
