My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
