You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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