Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
