I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you have to choose: penises or morals?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
