I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize