mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
