she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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