shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
