and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
