just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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