im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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