I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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