you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
