found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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