Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
