: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
