if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
