I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
How does one acquire holy water?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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