I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
