Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
