Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
