Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
