just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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