I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
