On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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