she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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