return my video game
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
