where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
