I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
