Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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