I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
