i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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