Apparently you make a good broom.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
