I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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