The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We have so much sex to catch up on
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
