hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
