he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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