My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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