Kareoke will never be a sober sport
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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