That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
