tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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