if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
