i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
