just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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