we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
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She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
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You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
dude. I can hear the air.
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