Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Operation Purity has been aborted
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
