This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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