Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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